Losing my momentum

Bothered? Am I bothered? So hard to keep going at this – especially seeing as my unique blog is so incredibly uninspiring. Kind of demoralising engaging with the wider blogosphere (think that's the correct technical term?) out there – stumbling across all the witty and erudite blogs; the all-singing all you-tubing blogs; the blogs that look as if people are writing/creating/assembling them more or less full-time. And up-keeping a blog does seem to be full-time. Certainly eats away at what little 'spare' time I have. That and getting sidetracked on other projects.

For some reason, I felt compelled to write a piece for a competition (Penguin Decibel Prize) about my experience of immigration, even though I probably wouldn't be classed as an immigrant in the terms that they're thinking of (I'm more of an ex-pat) and even though I knew I'd already missed the deadline! So what was all that about? Why squander those precious hours to produce something that's of no use, won't be accepted as an entry anyway, and leaves me even further behind in my coursework than ever? Stupid or what?

Every time I glance at the list (yes, I've had to collate a list of tasks to do, cos there's so many) I experience a minor paroxysm of panic. But that doesn't help any – nothing's actually been ticked off my list as yet.

I've tried to get some response to my requests for input from people connected to the blogs to books phenomena, to use as part of my Industry Analysis – emailed tonnes of people – but no luck as yet.
Haven't gone anywhere near chapter one of Under Duress for days, so no further development there either (not sure where the hell that's going now anyway).
Contacting Andrew George M.P. to ask him to comment about overcrowding in Penwith led to a massive great white paper document being posted through my door, which I'll now have to try and wade through if I'm to continue with this as my opinion feature article (great).
No response from Sue Perkins re the questions I emailed her for the profile piece on her I was hoping to do.
Still need to research Women's Monthly magazines, but haven't.
Still struggling with getting this friggin' website live and kicking...
Still struggling full-stop!
(At least I'm not full of quite so much doom and gloom anymore – am beginning to see the light).

Given that everyone else around me is having an equally shitty (if not shittier) time of it at the moment, I should cease wallowing forthwith, and start being more supportive.

Lyndsey having to deal with Dave's recent death from a brain tumour.
Terry coping with his lymphoma diagnosis, but also now, having badly broken his arm. (Pain and discomfort aside, he can't play the guitar, and so will be struggling even more now financially without the extra pennies that used to bring in).
My brother, having just spent two weeks in hospital with a nasty urinary tract infection.
Wendy getting a £2700 tax bill from tax credits.
Loads of my mates experiencing wobbly times with their partners...

The only good bit of bad news that I heard recently was that Beth couldn't make it into work the other night because she'd fallen off a trampoline – smashed her face up and needed stitches.
Oh, what a shame.
Mustn't gloat.

Roll on happier times for all though I say. And roll on the surf. Escaped to Gwenver late this afternoon to have a rubbish surf, but a brilliantly rejuvenating frolic in the sea. Need to do that more often. Probably the reason why I'm not myself at the moment – severe lack of exercise! Have been doing my best to counteract that of late (in between excessive socialising). Even cycled up hill and down dale for several miles to just the other side of Nancledra on Sunday, for a friend's 50^th, in a head wind – nearly killed me! The kids were none too impressed either (and all because I wanted to have a drink!) At least we managed to blag a lift home again as I doubt I could've made it. Gardening at Love Lane meadow tomorrow, so that'll get some colour in me cheeks.