Why? How??

Am I still awake?!? Half one in the morning, and here I am dutifully doing my blog, even though I should have gone to bed hours ago. It's not as if I've spent the evening being ultra productive? Home, late, which must count for something I suppose. No sooner through the door, than at the stove, as my lazy offspring ignored the suggestion – nay request – that they sort themselves out with their own dinners. Typical.

The rest of the evening kind of disappeared in a blur of laundry, hoovering, and shopping at the co-op. Played a couple of hands of gin rummy, as felt obliged to spend some mummy-time with the little darlings – especially as our paths crossed yesterday for a sum total of 45mins, 40mins of which I was busy, the remaining 5mins used up bolting down my badly cooked food.

Finally got around to sitting at the dreaded computer, rather late in the evening. How stupid is that? Decided that I wanted to email a copy of my Nepal story to Bill, purely because we'd been looking at travel writing in today's session. Really enjoyed it, almost to the point of being inspired. I guess, deep down, my dream job still is to be a travel writer. Not sure if there's much of a market for 48yr old travel writer's though, as that's how old I'll be when I'll be freed up to do something like that. Billy will be eighteen then, and in my books, on his own.

Anyway, very cheekily, I've sent off into the ether for Bill to either ignore, or look at, as he chooses. Really, all I'm after is some kind of indication as to whether there's a smidge of potential there, or whether I should lower my aspirations somewhat, and stick to the bar job. Was so good of him to comment on the 12page story, so don't want him to spend time on me, outside of class, again. Briefly looked up the urls he posted for his on-line work. Liked the Erotic Emergency one, that's for sure, but ran out of oomph to read the other just now. My brain's too tired, but will do so soon.

Had a chat with Tom to try and clarify my options. Looks like I'm doing Business. So doesn't sound like me, but I'm pretty sure it's the right choice. Hope so! I hate making decisions, and the more critical they are, the harder it is for me to make one. The benefit though of having committed to Business, is that now I can get on with the assessment stuff, without niggly distractions. Really must knuckle down and get on with it. Don't want to be up all night Weds, in a last minute panic.

Have to make sure that it's all perfect, proofed, formatted as desired, saved to disc, and professionally perfect. And this, after I've written the rationales. And I still need to decide (great) which pieces/things to include for the PRW3 portfoilio. Reminds me, must remind Duncan to email me Eden Heights script, so that I can revise the editing changes that were made, and possibly use some of that as demonstrating my writing.

Tonight's guest speaker was really good. Alex Wade. Lawyer turned writer, who gave us the spiel on libel. Reassured me that if I go ahead with the book-about-me project idea, then I'll be fine to write about Terry, provided I tell the truth, and can back up any statements and claims with evidence – e.g. court documents, written contempraneous documents, witnesses etc. Also, not to get too stressy about the modelling on the side thing. Its survival. In reality, the bloody thing's never going to get published anyway, so its all academic. His forthcoming book's called Surf Nation. Said I'd buy a copy of it when it comes out, provided he signs it. Or maybe I should wait for the paperback version? Anyway, was a fascinating talk, on an essential subject, of which we really need to know a lot, lot more about. Certainly stayed wide eyed, and surprisingly awake, throughout – even with insufficient sleep.

Picked up the long-promised free-cycle printer on the way home. Looks kind of old and clunky, but don't care, so long as it works. May have to try and get hold of Steve tomorrow. See if he's up for helping me install this one, and more importantly, try and add some more hard-drive, before this poor thing conks out – dies a death. Still haven't had a chance to plug in my new toy data stick yet, so its not allowed to crash yet. No way.

Anyway. Bed. Before I get started on some other ranty bollocks. Got lots of work to do tomorrow.