The countdown's begun

Last year I got into terrible trouble for failing to buy advent calendars in time. Not so subtle reminders were heaped upon me daily, up until a week before the big event, but of course by then, they couldn't be bought for love or money. I traipsed round every shop, every supermarket, every place imaginable in search of tacky Santa-scene cardboard calendars, containing motif squares of nasty-tasting chocolate. My name was mud – how's that for bad mother status? Right up there on the league table I should imagine.

So this year I had to be extra sure that calendars were purchased in plenty of time. It was Eddie who suggested I buy them 3months ago. For some reason he was in Lidls with me, bizarre, as he never ordinarily accompanies me on food-shopping trips. He noticed them at the check-out and said we should get some. I immediately pooh-poohed the idea, I mean, how ridiculous, not even October yet, and thinking about Xmas prep? However, having thought about it further, I could see the logic. I'd only have to go on a special advent calendar mission soon enough, and couldn't risk a repeat performance of last year's calendarlessness.

This morning then, the dear kiddies ripped open that first choo-choo train square, and so now, we're well on our festive way. Well,actually, strictly speaking that's not really true. I'd be quite happy to skip Xmas, cancel it. My system is about to go into melt-down and I can't cope with any more stress. Just the thought of having to go shopping, choose presents, and organise a fun-filled day leaves me totally cold. I'm panicking that I haven't sent anything to anybody in Australia yet, especially to my mum. But she's moved, and I don't even have a forwarding address. Rosie says she's doing some English course work on 'why I hate Christmas'. I'm with her all the way.

And on top of that, I've had a shitty day – don't want to be awake for any more of it. Bed.