Shoe box goodwill

Earning my brownie points tonight. Had neglected to gather all the bits needed to compile Billy's contribution to the Samaritans' Christmas shoe box appeal. I think it's a wonderful concept, and a timely reminder that for so many there is little to celebrate. Not only did I not have a shoe box – had to scrabble about in the attic desperately looking for one. Found a smallish cardboard box as a substitute. Then had to rummage through all the cupboards for things to put in it. Came up with a pretty good selection, although gutted the bubbles couldn't be included. No liquids allowed – new airline security measures I guess. Finally, had to wrap it in suitably festive wrapping paper and write on a card. So much for my early night. Hope Billy's pleased with my efforts even if they were last minute.

Feel obliged to function as both parents sometimes – try to compensate for their father's absence, and he is being diabolically bad at the moment. Having assured Billy he would be in this evening the kids went round. No dad. Another wasted trip, another disappointment. He's nailing his own coffin. Eddie showed me his profile on the Cartel website that's just been built/set-up. Fantastic photos and he's so young compared to the others, all of whom are either French or American – how cool is that! So proud, but will his dad ever know? Ever acknowledge his achievements? I doubt it.

I was proud of our group radio play today. Recorded this morning and edited in the afternoon. Required some severe editing but I think the end result won't be too bad. The actress that read the part of Mary was spot on I thought – really brought the character to life. Looking forward to hearing the final version next week.

Spent my last evening shivering in a damp car waiting for Eddie to do his life guard theory training. Big exam on Sunday which, hopefully, he'll pass. Meant to get on with some writing – a letter to my mum even – but too tired. Glanced at the Cornishman, but difficult to see in the streetlight gloom. My eyes are disappearing into their sockets. Crumpled bed awaits.