Woe is me

Was lying curled up on my bed last night, too cold to move, thinking that I should be upstairs writing my blog, but just couldn't. Felt so exhausted, drained, and pissed off with everything, I couldn't face it. In the end, managed to crawl into bed proper, and crash. Not for long, soon awakened by the retching tones of Lucy puking. A long night of bowl-emptying and back-stroking. Don't know if it's because I'm ultra tired, or borderline ill, but I'm really struggling at the moment. No energy, and miserable as sin.

Spent yesterday with Steve doing his best to install the all-in-one printer I was given, but it doesn't bloody work. Popped into town to get some Xmas puds (my contribution to the dinner at Simon's) and Rory's present – croquet set which I'm sure he'll think is the naffest present ever.

Took the little kids over to Carn Euny for a winter solstice celebrationy type thing. That was nice, lots of people (with lots of tiny kids) gathered in the sunshine. At the point at which the sun slipped behind Chapel Carn Brea, we all held hands – 40 or so of us? and spiraled around the stone walls, down into the fougou for a meditative chant, followed by a suitably hippy song for the occasion. Back outside for hot choc and brandy – nice to see lots of folk outdoors on such a glorious, although freezing, day.

Raced back into town to join in with the Pondlife carol busking session outside the Lloyds bank. Could only stay for a couple of songs as had to be at the Acorn for the Kneehigh show. Managed to watch it but thought it was pants, even nodded off in the first half it was so un-gripping. At least it finished relatively early, with me and the kids home shortly after 10pm. Graham's van was still parked in town so texted, and rang to find out where everyone was, but he wasn't answering. He called by later, only to tell me they'd all gone to Coco's for food and drinks, courtesy of both busking stints – blowing the entire £108, and everyone was there except me! So unfair. If I'd have known it was going to be a Pondlife jolly, I would've swapped shifts. Left out, yet again.