Yahoo Personals?

How sad am I? Just spent 10 minutes trawling through the personal ads, seduced by the spiel about not wanting to spend Valentines alone. Some scary looking photos out there that's for sure. And a couple of familiar ones as well, which makes me think that I never want to post mine up there for fear of ridicule. I've only been single for 5 days, so why the hell it's even crossing my mind to go window shopping, I've no idea. Obviously quite topical right now, this whole r'ship twaddle stuff, but surely I should just be concentrating on me? Getting myself sorted? Wonder if I'll ever give myself a break.

Nice to meet up with Ufi in the pub for his birthday – gone, the pointy mustache and goatee beard! Lovely to see Lynne and Chris as well, and hope Lynne does well in her massage course exams at the weekend. Impossible to see all of the people all of the time, and I know I'm about to disappear into the 2^nd study block as of tomorrow (resulting in no social life whatsoever) which is really, really depressing. First thing on my list when this is finally over (a long way off yet, I know) is to have lots of dinner parties, organise gatherings and events, and party like mad.

Another long day in the pc hot seat (where does all the time go?). Finished off the running stores article which is a relief – hopefully won't need a great deal of tweaking as it took a bloody long time to write, and I'd hate to see great swathes of it on the cutting room floor. Replied to an email from Simon on the trek last year – hard to believe it's nearly been a year already? Which reminds me, must get in touch with me mum. Well overdue now. May have to try and find a quiet spot in college tomorrow, to scribble a few pages between classes.

Mission into town partially successful: purchased snuff and jelly babies for Ufi's present; an eggcup set for a new baby, and existing toddler brother; deodorant for Rosie; conditioner; 3 months supply of monthly contact lenses; but no cords/trousers. Have looked everywhere – may as well give up as it's summer season stuff coming in now. Hate shopping at the best of times, but so frustrating to be wasting all that time for nothing. Think I'll give up; make do with the clothes I have now, and keep borrowing Rosie's kit.

Dutifully turned up for parent teacher interviews at HDS on behalf of Lucy (at scouts at the time) who in true Read fashion, only managed to book 3 appts for me to see her teachers, so had to see the rest by ducking in at opportune moments. As to be expected, glowing reports all round (apart from the maths guy who said she's too chatty and off task, and 'intermittent' with homework). Sad to hear that even more top teachers are handing in their notice, and leaving before the academic year is out. Poor Billy – there'll be no-one left when he gets there. Don't blame them though. Even more disheartening to hear that staff morale is shockingly low, and tensions between senior management and everyone else, at an all time high. Bollocks.

Squeezed in a mini visit to see the new Matt and Nancy's new addition – think the eggcups were received well. Have to say, from the quick peek I had, he seemed an incredibly beautiful little soul. A wave of baby gushiness washed over me, which is very unusual – am normally pretty much unaffected by babies. Must be hormones or something, or maybe I'm just getting soft! Not that I'm wanting one mind, nosirree.

Stupidly late already, and an early start back to college. And a long day! With the trip up to Plymouth to see Gilgamesh, don't expect we'll be back in Pz before half midnight. Means blowing out band prac. Again, but maybe that's for the best. Relieved to be feeling remarkably cool about the whole thing – not wallowing in it for a change, and not feeling too shitty. That's progress, but I guess it's still processing. Slowly, slowly. Time is a healer. Time to go to bed.