Bugger...missed a day

Wracked with guilt now for neglecting you, dear blog. Only a few short weeks and already I feel a deep connection, attachment, and missed you terribly last night. Just didn't have time with all the running around, ferrying kids here and there, cobbling a pirate costume together...and then sleeping in the van after the party. Just not possible to post my ramblings – so sorry.

Not that there was anything interesting to comment about. Certainly didn't get any reading or writing done yesterday. And another slack one today I fear as We're about to go off to a mate's place to do all that bonfire, fireworks, jacket potatoes, woolly hats and mittens kind of stuff. Will be good to see Heidi, definitely missing all the social interaction since starting this bloody course. I did try to do some work sat on the cliff at Hayle again, while the kids did their surf life saving training, but too hungover and tired I think. Certainly couldn't concentrate on anything. Napped in the sunshine briefly, wrote the thesis statement for my essay: People from up-country shouldn't be allowed to holiday in Cornwall, and jotted down a few points in bullet form.

Then read the course book properly for the first time, so now I'm absolutely freaking as I don't think there's a hope in hell in me being able to do the amount of work involved, to a high enough level. I'm doomed. Doomed. Will have thrown away three grand, and will have to live with the ignominy of failure. Half the time I feel like such a fraud when I'm there, not a real writer. Haven't got the imagination or ideas or creative flair. Too late now, I'm buggered. Will plug myself into last installment of Jazz on way over to Heidi's. Will try and work on essay and piece for Susannah when we get back, but really, all I can think about is a warm, cosy bed. No bed-buddy tonight though (sigh) could do with a human hot water bottle. At least I can manage to wear shoes now as it's feckin' freezin' out there. Gunpowder treason and plot, here we go.