how to be a tourist in North Cornwall

drive around a lot looking for a beach. hang about on the beach even though it's overcast, and not at all beach-worthy. scour your free map hoping to find places of interest, but only find Rock, the John Betjemen Centre, and a naff Cyder farm. get stuck in endless traffic jams and wonder why you ever bothered to venture out of Penwith. remember too late that you need to replace the left-hand side windscreen wiper as the proverbial heavens open. ponder on the thought that this is only the first day of 6 weeks of summer hols...